


worth it

by Murf1307



Category: X-Men: First Class (2011) - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, First Kiss, Friends to Lovers, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Period-Typical Homophobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-24
Updated: 2015-10-24
Packaged: 2018-04-27 20:26:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 961
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5062906
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Murf1307/pseuds/Murf1307
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Armando knows how Alex looks at him, when Alex thinks he isn't looking.</p>
            </blockquote>





	worth it

Alex Summers is a riddle that Armando is intent on solving.  

 

He acts like he’s got to be alone, but every time Armando circles closer, he almost seems to cling to the new closeness, like he’s desperate for it.  Armando keeps slipping in closer, wanting to get behind those walls.

 

Admittedly, almost dying that night at the compound set them back a bit.  Alex blames himself, still, even though in the end nothing happened.

 

But Armando is starting to get tired of the waiting game.  Especially when it’s clear that they’ve got something in common that neither of them is quite willing to say out loud.  For Armando it’s a habit — some things you just don’t talk about, even though there’s not a thing wrong with them.  For Alex, though, it’s probably survival instinct, from what he can tell.

 

Like right now, in Xavier’s mansion in Westchester, Alex is leaned up close to him, but there’s still a distance as they watch TV, a distance Armando is nervous about surmounting.

 

He knows he could, as his shoulder’s pressed against Alex’s.  Alex might even open up underneath his hands — he’s seen the way Alex looks at him when he thinks Armando’s not looking.  It’s obvious, especially since Armando’s a cabbie from New York.  He’s seen a lot of men wear that look on the way to the Village, or some other secluded spot.  

 

It’s not safe, probably not safe even here.  But God, Armando wants it.

 

He doesn’t know how to ask, though, so that leaves them here, in this lurch, this impasse.  He slides his arm around behind Alex, hand planted on the floor behind him.  It’s not quite holding him, and that’s on purpose.

 

There’s a shift in Alex’s breathing, and Armando _knows_  what that means.

 

His patience keeps getting thinner, because part of him just knows that eventually, they’re either going to fall apart or fall into bed together, and he’d rather the second part, but he’d rather it done right.

 

He wants it to be safe as it can be, because he knows that Alex hasn’t had a whole lot of safe.

 

Fuck it, he decides.  There’s only so long even he can wait.

 

“I’ve seen how you look at me, y’know,” he says, almost conversational.

 

Alex freezes, like he’s been caught at something.

 

Armando shrugs his far shoulder.  “When you think I’m not looking, I mean.”  He slides his hand a little further across the floor, steadying Alex a little more.

 

“And how’s that?” Alex manages, voice barely above a whisper.

 

“Like you wanna try something, but you’re scared.”

 

Alex closes his eyes, lets out a long breath.  “I — I don’t know.  It’s.  It’s complicated.  People would say it’s wrong, y’know.”

 

“Do you think it is?” Armando asks.

 

“I don’t know.”

 

It’s good enough for now.  Armando shrugs again.  “I don’t think so.  I’ve seen a lot of men going after it.  They only thing that seemed wrong was that they had to hide it.”

 

“Do you?  Hide it, I mean.”

 

“It’s not something I talk about to most people.  But I don’t think that’s hiding, exactly.”

 

Alex exhales again.  “I — I’ve heard there are places, in New York City, where people don’t hide it.”

 

“That’s true, a little bit,” Armando replies.  “I could show you sometime.”

 

“Do you go to -- those places, often?”  Alex is nervous as foal on its feet for the first time, it’s clear in his body language.

 

Armando shakes his head.  “Not really.  I worked too much.”

 

There’s a long moment where neither of them speaks.  Then Alex does.  “Why’d you bring it up?”

 

“I think it might be worth it.  Trying, I mean.”

 

Alex’s eyes widen.  “Oh.”

 

“Do you think I’m wrong?”

 

“I don’t know what I think.  They don’t ask you to think much in prison.”  Alex shrugs and shifts closer. “I dunno.”

 

Armando cocks his head to the side.  “What’s stopping you, then?”

 

“People would hate us, I guess.”  

 

“Hotshot, a lot of people would hate us anyway.”  After all, plenty of people already hate Armando, all by his lonesome.  He doesn’t think it can get much worse just because of who he wants to be with.  And even if it can, _he_  thinks it’s worth it.

 

Alex seems to turn that over in his head for a long moment, thinking.  “Yeah.”

 

It’s the most ambiguous agreement Armando’s ever heard.

 

But then Alex does one of the braver things that Armando’s seen him do since they’ve met.  He shifts around so he’s facing Armando and leans in close, close enough to touch, almost close enough to kiss, if Armando closes the distance himself.  

 

“I think I’m scared.”  That’s what Alex says, and his blue, blue eyes are full of that undertone of fear.

 

Armando’s not sure it’s a fear he can just wash away, either.  It’s not even a fear he can _feel,_ really.  After all, he can’t be killed for this, the way Alex could, if the wrong person found out.

 

He can’t be killed for _anything_.

 

“That’s okay,” Armando murmurs.  “You’re allowed to be.  It _is_  a risk.  I mean, I can’t be killed, you know?  But you could."

 

Alex nods, and he shifts closer; his forehead bumps against Armando’s.  “I saw you die once.  I think I’m pretty set for not having to deal with that ever again."

 

Armando chuckles a little at his tone.  “I’m never gonna live that down, huh?"

 

“Never,” Alex murmurs, smiling, eyes slipping shut.

 

“Good.”  He can work with that.

 

Alex smiles a little wider, blushing a little bit.  “I…I want this, though.  Us.  You."

 

That’s all Armando needs.  “I want it, too.  So…"

 

“You gonna do something about it?"

 

“Are you?"

 

Alex takes up the challenge, and leans in. 


End file.
